January 6, 2008

Abe Lincoln

Born in a log cabin in Illy-Illinois, as soon as he doffed a top hat, he got down to straight pimping.  Without further ado, here’s Abe Lincoln’s failed pickup lines.

Honest Abe

I need you to reject me like I need a hole in my head.

Why don’t I emancipate you from the bonds of your clothes? 

Do you have room for my log in your cabin? 

You’ll never want to secede from our union. 

I’ve wanted to bang you for four score and seven years. 

Oh, sorry, I think I made a spot resolution on your dress.

Your legs divided against me make my penis stand. 

I’d assassinate your booty.

I seem to have lost my address, can I have yours?

I abolished slavery everywhere, except my bedroom.

I got the nickname “Honest Abe” shortly after I bragged about my abilities in bed.

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